Over the years I’ve heard this phrase directed towards me & so many others regarding the desire to be married one day.
“That’s nice, but remember: You won’t be single forever.”
At some point in my life, I completely questioned that. And what if I will be single forever? Is that really so bad?
Unfortunately a lot of comments that single people get about their singleness often feels like a backhanded compliment. I’ve heard people say that marriage and kids are the end goal, and if you’re not at that point then you’ve got this “curse” of Singleness. Thankfully, plenty of godly people have spoken into that in my life and have reassured me that singleness is not a curse.
Since understanding the truth and blessing of my singleness, I’ve come up with a few things to encourage those of you in this season! And let me tell you… it’s a beautiful season when you treat it as such!
You Won’t Be Single Forever, So…
1.Take advantage of SILENCE.
When we add other people into the equation of our lives we also add noise. The noise of not only our issues, celebrations, and messiness, but also the noise of all of those things in someone else’s life. Enjoy the times you get to be alone, in self reflection, and being able to have time to just be. This can allow you to get the most out of your quiet time with God as you grow in this season. Silence is not a bad thing.
2. Follow your dreams.
I’ve heard couples mention that they wished they could have enjoyed their singleness more and taken the time to do the things they wanted to do. Not because they wouldn’t want to share it with their spouse, but sometimes your future spouse won’t be into those things or the finances, time, or space just won’t be there. One of the best things I’ve been advised to do is to take that trip, do that internship, write that book, start that nonprofit, and follow that dream now. If you’re waiting on someone else to be in your life to make that thing happen, you will be waiting forever. We are meant to compliment each other, not complete each other. Be your own person. Follow your dreams.
3. Work on your current relationships.
It’s beyond me why we think that we will suddenly make a 180 and be these perfect spouses when the time comes. If you didn’t already know, no marriage is perfect. No married person is perfect either. We’re all human beings and we make mistakes. We have relationships around us currently that are challenging and beautiful all in the same. This is how it is when you’re in relationship with anyone. Learn how to forgive your family so you can learn how to forgive your future spouse. Practice patience with your friends so you can have patience with your future spouse. Make a list of qualities you want to work on, and go for it! Take it one step at a time. This will gear you up for your future!
4. Learn to trust God.
No one has got this perfectly down. Trusting God is a lifelong process of being on mountaintops and in valleys all the while finding hope and faith to hold onto in the midst of it all. When you learn to trust God, you learn his characteristics. He is faithful, and you may learn that through a time when things seem to be falling apart everywhere. It’s all in His timing and His plans.
5. Seek after God with EVERYTHING.
Surrender everything to Him. Ask Him to purify your heart. Desire to be transformed by Him and submit all your plans to Him. Read your Bible, set up a plan (if that helps), worship and dance in His presence, and follow where He calls. This is not a secret formula to finding your future spouse, but it will definitely help you head in the right direction towards surrounding yourself with godly people.
Overall, singleness is nothing to be ashamed of. Own it. Believe that this season is not by mistake. You are here on purpose and for a purpose. You are in a season of growing, learning, refining, and leaning on God. It’s always been in His hands. He loves you & has only the best for you!